There is a room at work just for actuarial students designated for studying. I refer to it as the dungeon – a term that I think is even going easy on the wretched place. The outside of the room is so unassuming that no one even knows it’s there. It’s hidden behind two heavy metal doors, which, once opened, you’d turn around and run if you could.

Upon entrance you’ll notice a sea of grey – cubicles, walls, even the carpeting. It’s enough to depress even the happiest person should they spend some time in there. The room has around 30 cubicles squished into a space no bigger than my bedroom. There’s a handmade motivational poster on the front wall which encourages you to “Study Like a Champion Today.” Some poor soul who knows the torture of spending hundreds of hours in there wrote beneath it: “…and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that.” It’s clearly not the best place to spend your mornings and evenings.

The only thing that gets me through is the snack shelf towards the back. Newly designated FSAs (aka actuaries with all of their exams passed), who are so ecstatic that they never have to spend another minute in the room, gladly pile up goodies every exam sitting to help ease our pain. I’d like to blame the fact that I make many a stop to the snack shelf due to my being pregnant. However, I’m pretty sure that I’d make just as many stops had I not been. It’s full of goodies like popcorn, pudding, candy bars, etc (the kind of stuff I would never buy for myself) that just calls out my name. All too frequently I listen. I try to choose a time when no one’s looking, but someone always catches me. So, I make my way back to my desk to enjoy my treat, but there’s just one problem:

The room is deathly quiet. So quiet that you can hear someone chewing a banana (or at least I feel like it when I eat mine every morning). So quiet that dare you choose to bring an apple as a snack, the guilt alone from the crunchy noise of you eating makes you exit the room and eat it outside the doors. It is so quiet that they pump in white noise just to give us something to listen to so we don’t go crazy. But I do go crazy! I watch the clock, counting down the minutes until I can leave, only to return in the afternoon. So, while you all enjoy the weather, crafts, TV shows, or cooking this afternoon, just remember poor old me sitting in the dungeon at my desk. I'll have my slippers on (hey, I’ve gotta be comfy if I’m spending that much time in there!) and a tear rolling down my face as I know I'll have to do it all over again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that...